The Better Boundaries Blog
What’s the Rush? Making Decisions under Pressure
Do your friends or family pressure you into making decisions right away, before you’ve had a chance to think? Do you sometimes say yes before you understand what that means?
Better Boundaries: How Do I Convince People to Accept My Answer?
Setting boundaries can be tough. What do you do when your answer is “no”, but the other person won’t accept it? You’ve explained your situation, you’ve apologized for the inconvenience (or whatever problem your refusal has apparently caused) … you’ve even commiserated about how tough this is. But he or she just won’t budge.
How Your Personality Type Affects Your Response to Manipulation
According to Carl Jung (and a whole lot of folks after him), each of has a particular personality type. These types can be categorized into four "temperaments", and they have a major impact on the way we respond to manipulation. It seems we’re all...
Are You a Connector?
As I promised in my previous post, I’m going to tell you about a category of personality types called the Connector. If you’re familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Inventory (MBTI), you probably know that most Jungian-based personality systems have 16...
Are You a Planner?
In my last post I talked about Connectors and their focus on relationships, harmony and authenticity; now I’d like to help you get to know a group called Planners. They’re also called Guardians or Stabilizers, and they’re the largest of the four groups in...
Are You a Mover?
Mover, as you might expect, is short for “Mover and Shaker”. In my last post, I told you about a personality category (a “temperament”) known as the Planner. Planners are the responsible folks who make society work. If you missed it, you can read it here....
Are You a Thinker?
In my previous posts, I’ve told you about three of the four “temperaments” (which are categories of personality types); today I’ll be telling you about Thinker. (If you’re interested, you can read my earlier posts on Connectors, Planners, and Movers.) Also...
How to Avoid the 3 Big Boundaries Mistakes that Can Ruin Your Holiday
Many of us look forward to the holidays for months, if not all year. They’re a time for family and friends – and for giving. But if we don’t put any limits on that giving, we can end up exhausted and resentful. That’s why, even during the season of giving,...
Are You a People Pleaser?
By now we all realize that being a people-pleaser has its downside. Putting other people’s needs before your own can lead to exhaustion, frustration and an unfulfilling life. You can’t say yes to what’s most important to you without saying no to distractions. But, of course, staying too focused on yourself makes for a lonely life. So where do you draw the line? When do you stop trying to please everyone?
Lies: The Secret Weapon of Manipulation
As I mentioned in Ever Feel Manipulated?, manipulative people rely on lies. Once you see through them, manipulation can no longer succeed. So let’s look at some of the most popular types of lies; some of them may surprise you. Lies about consequences:...
Setting Boundaries: The Three Top Lies
As human beings, we have preconceived notions about everything from the kind of car we should drive to how we should feel at a funeral. Setting boundaries is no exception. Questioning these notions once in a while can give us a new perspective – and allow...
Setting Boundaries When a Friend Has Wronged You
Setting boundaries with a friend is often hard! A while ago, someone found my website by searching on what is now the title of this post. I learned this while reading a letter that a friend had written to another friend after being treated badly. So I...