The Better Boundaries Blog

How to deal with passive-aggressive people

We’ve all heard about passive-aggressive people, and most of have probably called someone passive-aggressive (at least in our thoughts). But in my research, I discovered that passive aggression isn’t what most think it is. Internet and other “experts” are a bit mixed up when it comes to this term – and so are the rest of us.

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Better Boundaries: How Do I Convince People to Accept My Answer?

Setting boundaries can be tough. What do you do when your answer is “no”, but the other person won’t accept it? You’ve explained your situation, you’ve apologized for the inconvenience (or whatever problem your refusal has apparently caused) … you’ve even commiserated about how tough this is. But he or she just won’t budge.

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Are You a Connector?

As I promised in my previous post, I’m going to tell you about a category of personality types called the Connector. If you’re familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Inventory (MBTI), you probably know that most Jungian-based personality systems have 16...

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Are You a Planner?

In my last post I talked about Connectors and their focus on relationships, harmony and authenticity; now I’d like to help you get to know a group called Planners. They’re also called Guardians or Stabilizers, and they’re the largest of the four groups in...

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Are You a Mover?

Mover, as you might expect, is short for “Mover and Shaker”. In my last post, I told you about a personality category (a “temperament”) known as the Planner. Planners are the responsible folks who make society work. If you missed it, you can read it here....

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Are You a Thinker?

In my previous posts, I’ve told you about three of the four “temperaments” (which are categories of personality types); today I’ll be telling you about Thinker. (If you’re interested, you can read my earlier posts on Connectors, Planners, and Movers.) Also...

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Are You a People Pleaser?

By now we all realize that being a people-pleaser has its downside. Putting other people’s needs before your own can lead to exhaustion, frustration and an unfulfilling life. You can’t say yes to what’s most important to you without saying no to distractions. But, of course, staying too focused on yourself makes for a lonely life. So where do you draw the line? When do you stop trying to please everyone?

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Lies: The Secret Weapon of Manipulation

As I mentioned in Ever Feel Manipulated?, manipulative people rely on lies. Once you see through them, manipulation can no longer succeed. So let’s look at some of the most popular types of lies; some of them may surprise you. Lies about consequences:...

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Setting Boundaries: The Three Top Lies

As human beings, we have preconceived notions about everything from the kind of car we should drive to how we should feel at a funeral. Setting boundaries is no exception. Questioning these notions once in a while can give us a new perspective – and allow...

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