There’s a fine line between being too nice and being a pushover.
Every day we make choices – choices that determine everything from how we spend our time to how we feel about ourselves. Do you often wonder what happened to your day – or your week? Do you look back and realize that you spent it doing what others wanted you to do?
Then it’s time to evaluate.
Here are ten signs that you might be a pushover. Take a little time and contemplate each one.
- I’m “fine” is the way you reply, even when you’re not.
- You would rather say “no problem” than “no way! – even when it feels like you’re being taken advantage of.
- When people want to borrow money, you’d rather just give it to them than tell them to find another bank.
- You find yourself going out even when you don’t want to. Your social calendar is full, mostly because you cannot refuse an invitation.
- You spend hours listening to people’s problems, giving them advice that they probably won’t follow.
- Apologizing is natural to you. You say it to smooth things over, even when you’ve done nothing wrong.
- You are the go-to friend, the one who’s always doing “little” favors … for everyone.
- Making other people happy is your priority in life. You wouldn’t feel right putting yourself first.
- You hate to rock the boat, and you head for the hills at the first sign of confrontation.
- You have no time to yourself. Your life is tiring.
Are you a pushover?
If you agreed with even a few of these points, I think it’s safe to say that your life is not your own. And you might be a pushover.
Maybe you’re saying “yes” to everyone but yourself because you hate conflict. Or perhaps you hate feeling rejected – even by someone who’s not all that important to you. Or maybe you’re just being nice at your own expense.
Think about …
Whatever the reason, you can’t go on being taken for granted. If you haven’t already, you’ll start resenting people – even the ones you care about most – for taking advantage of your good nature. And you’ll be too tired from all of your obligations to enjoy your family and friends. You’ll wonder where your life went … and whether you can ever get it back.
It’s also important to remind yourself that you deserve to have a good life, with a balance of things of things you do for others and those you do for yourself. You deserve to be appreciated, not taken for granted. And you deserve some time to yourself, even when you’re busy looking after others. If your life is about everyone else, make a commitment to do something for yourself, even if it’s listening to just 10 minutes of your favorite music each day.
No one enjoys being taken advantage of. If you think you might be a pushover – even just some of the time – then it’s time to do something about it. Don’t let your good nature stop you from living a good life. Start working on those boundaries today.